Sunday, April 19, 2009

Growing Closer – Fran and I

So far I have been writing about me and becoming a grandmother and I haven’t said that much about my daughter and her husband. So today I want to introduce Fran.

Fran is 28. She is a graduate of Cedar Crest College, Allentown PA with a major in Dance and a Minor in Management. She started her working career as an assistant manager at Hammett’s Learning World – a retail educational product business. When Hammett’s closed all of their retail stores she became a tutor at Sylvan Learning Center and a substitute teacher and she is still a Sylvan tutor.

Fran and Josh are very excited about becoming parents. They are readying the baby’s room and have the crib and rocker in place. She is taking what was her dresser/changing table from our house and her brother’s bookshelves will complete the furnishings for now.

Fran is the creative spirit in a family of engineers( the rest of us) so who knows what else is in store for the Baby’s room. Items are disappearing from the baby registry so I think she will be well stocked and prepared for his arrival.

Fran and I are very different personalities and we haven’t had that many interests in common. The baby has changed all that. We often walk together in a nearby park and now our talks have drawn us much closer. We talk about her as a baby and a child on a different level. I’m sure all the mothers and grandmothers reading this know what I am talking about.

We also talk about health quite a bit. I am diabetic as was my mother and grandfather and Fran has gestational diabetes. She has to test her blood four times a day and follow a careful diet. We talk about our diet and adjusting this or that to allow some “pregnancy pleasures” like a small serving of ice cream and still have blood sugar readings in range. They say this will be gone as soon as the placenta is gone and Fran is looking forward to having a large coke.

Fran is a “I want to do everything right” kind of person. I know that a lot of that will succumb to the realities of caring for a baby 24/7 but it is very reminiscent for me to listen to her plans. She is interested in my opinion but quickly reminds me that she will be in charge. I remember that feeling pretty well.

I am realizing that just as you seem to get much smarter – according to your kids – as they become grownups, you become smarter again when babies arrive. In other words - I’m not getting older...I’m getting smarter. If only it was true!

I know that Fran and I will have a great mother-daughter relationship when the baby arrives. I plan to be there for her as much as she needs me to but stay out of her way also. She’ll learn about being a mother in the 21st century from women much younger than me and by her own experiences. I will be there with timeless knowledge when she asks and of course a willing babysitter.

My daughter is going to be a really is a life transition that should be savored like a fine wine. Allow to breathe, sip slowly, enjoy the bouquet, twirl in the glass, hold to the light to embrace its body. Yes we are wine lovers and we will be shopping for just the right wine to open to celebrate the birth and Christening. The wine at Fran and Josh’s wedding was Saint Francis. Hmmm..we’ll see.

1 comment:

Nancy Romanyshyn said...

What wonderful observations at this special time in your life! I didn't realize that we have engineering (my father was a Chemical Engineer) and diabetes (my mother and sister are diabetic, as it runs on my mother's side of the family) in common.

I particularly related to your comment about how you suddenly find "motherhood" in common with your daughter. I was always close to my parents, but it was my father with whom I shared a lot of my career-driven 20s...When I was expecting and became a Mom, my mother and I related to one another on a whole new level. It's wonderful how your relationships evolve and change.

Enjoy this time. You will be able to enjoy your grandchild in a way you weren't able to enjoy your children. As you said, drink it in!